5 Keys to Better Sleep After Losing a Loved One

Blog Written By: Beverly Nelson of Standup for Caregivers

Image via Pixabay

Nothing is normal when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one. Relatives and friends come and go to check up on you, work is on hold for bereavement, paperwork and sympathy cards spill out of the mailbox every day, and sleep goes out the window. But when your every waking moment is filled with painful thoughts of your lost loved one, you need rest more than ever. Here are five ways you get that much-needed sleep during your time of grief.

Practice Letting Go of Things

As difficult as it may be, closure might be necessary to finally get back on a normal sleep schedule. According to Psychology Today, it’s tempting to hold onto everything that belonged to your lost loved one, but there comes a time when you need to let go. If you’re not ready to sort through and discard your partner’s things, or if you’re not in the right headspace to decide what to keep or give away, consider putting their things into storage so you can sort through it later when you’re ready. This will free up physical and emotional space in your bedroom, but you can do the physical labor of sorting later.

Calmness and De-stressing

The only way to rest your body at night is to rest your brain. If you’re constantly thinking and worrying, you’ll go to bed in a depressed and anxious state. Those feelings aren’t conducive to good sleep. You don’t have to erase thoughts of your departed loved one, but sometimes it’s necessary to put those thoughts on hold until the morning.

To get into a state of calm, you must leave your stress at the door. Recognize your trigger points so you can take immediate action. Commit to stopping anything that’s stress-inducing or work-related by a certain time each night, and vow to go to bed at the same time each night. Establish a routine to help your body naturally feel tired at a certain time. Incorporate relaxing habits like yoga, stretching, deep breathing or meditation to help bring a sense of calm. Also, the Sleep Foundation advises you to avoid reaching for those electronic devices close to bedtime, as they tend to stimulate and awaken you. Close your eyes, clear your mind, take deep and focused breaths, and relax your muscles.

Health

Stress and grief affect people’s appetites differently. Some have no appetite, and others eat for comfort. In either case, it’s important to get your eating habits to a good place. Your health depends on it, and so does your sleep. Eating whole, clean foods throughout the day can relax your body at night. Exercising earlier in the day can also help your body feel naturally tired by bedtime.

When you eat unhealthy foods, your body has to process them differently, which interrupts the sleep process. Junk food, alcohol, and caffeine before bed also disrupt your sleep. Avoid midnight food runs and late-night drinking, because while they might knock you out quickly, they make you sleep poorly.

Sleep Quarters

Moving on from things you should not do, there are things you should do. Your life has gone through a major change, so why not change your sleep environment to usher you into the new normal? After all, your old patterns are probably attached to your old relationships, and this is the time to start anew. So redo your bedroom with new flow, paint, curtains, lighting, and a mattress that’s right for your size and sleep position. Consider too making sure your environment is primed for sleep. So invest in light blocking shades and lamps with soft lighting.

Electronics

While we mentioned avoiding electronic devices, some electronic gadgets can actually help you sleep better. Smart home devices control lighting and temperature to optimize your environment while you fall asleep and wake up.  As Business Insider explains, sound machines get you into a peaceful state for restful sleep. Then there are also smart alarms, which wake you up when your body is in a light stage of sleep. Be sure to research and read reviews to avoid money-wasting gimmicks that are ineffective.

If your spouse has passed, positive changes can keep you from getting consumed by the memories. While those memories can be too difficult to sleep through, your health is just as important as remembering your loved ones. It’s hard to say goodbye, but they would have wanted you to stop grieving and start living your life.

Photo Credit: Pixabay